How to destroy the authority of a church using legalism

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How to destroy the authority of a church using legalism

Jesus once said that the gates of hell will not be able to destroy the church. And I wholeheartedly agree, there is nothing that can destroy the universal church because God has given her His own authority. Even in dire persecution the church thrived, flourished, and grew. Tertullian once said that “the blood of martyrs is the seed of the Church.” Although I disagree – and would say the blood of Christ is the seed, to think so highly of martyrs is a form of works based righteousness – nonetheless the church has persevered though much. Yet individual local churches, movements, and denominations are dying and losing their authority and respect. Some die completely, and the doors close on an empty sanctuary. Others die in spirit, and while a number of older people remain, committed to the tradition, there is not an ounce of life left in the body. There is no evangelism, enthusiasm, or energy. The youth leave and consider “church” to be an anthropologically archaic archetype of the ignorant folk religion of the past. Simply put, they don’t trust things that the pastor says. So how does this happen? How does a church go from a place of honor and respect, to a position where even its own children roll their eyes at its teaching? Here is how you, being a leader, can destroy a church that cannot be easily demolished by persecution and worldly lusts. My dear friend, do not embark on this lightly.

1. Refuse to learn the best answers

Today we have the internet, instant international communication, and intelligence rates that are constantly increasing. Every single falsehood and error you say, can be instantly checked by the smartphone-carrying-people in the pews. To destroy the church, you must ignore all of that. Instead, just teach and preach everything that you heard as a child. Never search out answers to deep, serious, question that you have, instead recite the answers some visiting preacher told you in when you were twelve. Even though there are many rigorous and conservative (Bible-believing) theological seminaries, ignore them all; they’re a slippery slope to ‘liberalism’ (which is just as bad as Leninism, lesbianism, and any other “ism’s” like Calvinism). Just teach that “inherited answers” are the best, and everyone who tries to be a scholar becomes an atheist. Don’t learn anything you don’t like, especially if it’s different than what you learned in Sunday school. You learned it right once and for all. If some in your circle of influence try to learn and think critically, dissuade them. The best way is to have Galatians 1:8 on speed dial. Emphasize that even if an angel teaches something different than ‘you’ taught them, they ought not believe.

2. Establish people as truth, instead of truth as truth

In the past truth was measured by the person speaking. If he has more power and influence, then his words were more truthful. The Pope’s lies were more truthful than a peasants truth. Today the truthfulness of a statement is actually based off of its validity, not its speaker. But you must hide all of that and continually teach the young generation that ‘truth’ is based on “anointing” and that you have the “anointing” lest they question you. Always set up everyone who disagrees with your ‘anointing’ as un-spiritual. On matters of this world, make sure to say all scientists, scholars, and specialists are specifically sent satanic saboteurs. You on the other hand have the real truth, that is better than their truth. Make sure to explain that, even if their things make sense, it’s just a trick of the devil. If someone questions you about Christian matters, and uses the Bible, explain they are young, untrained, and “un-annointed.” Therefore, they are reading it wrong, and should check with you about how to understand it. If they disagree explain to them they must first reach your level of “spiritual authority” and “wise age” to be able to discuss these matters, and for the next 30 years they must simply obey your “anointing.” If they still persist, use shame to convince them they are in a spiritually dangerous phase, use a frightening tall tale as an illustration. Like someone who also asked such questions and became an atheist, or demon possessed. It’s all for their good, of course.

3. Promote your tradition as authoritative truth

There are some who say different churches have different traditions, and its acceptable. Nonsense, they only have different traditions that you because they are wrong. Or backsliders. Probably both. You must constantly defend ALL of the traditions that you inherited, for without them Christianity is lost. If the people want to sing two songs, instead of one, tell them the essence of Christ’s substitutionary atonement has been irreparably altered! They want to wear contemporary clothing, tell them it’s a slippery slope to liberalism! Remember, it’s an all or nothing battle. If even one tradition is updated, you have lost your power and influence. Be very careful when some come up to you with questions, especially if they ask “where does the Bible say ____?” If they are “easy to persuade” just tell them they should submit to the church or their questions will lead them on the path of Absolom, this often squelches the easy ones. For the others, find an obscure passage in the Old Testament that no one can explain, and use that as proof. It helps to read it in the KJV, they will surely be confused to the point of submission. Regardless of what you do, never give up maintaining that every single one of your traditions is God’s authoritative truth and the only holy way to do things.

4. Refuse to respond to anyone who disagrees

There are a few dangers you will face on your journey. The internet and history are your biggest two. The internet can show people that not everyone agrees with you today. This is easier to deal with. You simply reply that the internet is a cobweb of lies, and a sign of Satan’s growing influence in the world. The antichrist is surely a few years away. All those who are not with you are with him. Tell your pupils that the only websites that are safe are marked with the special seal of righteousness (large, ALL-CAPS letter using more colors than Josephs robe). Regarding history, it can show that not everyone agreed with you in the past. You must never let your people learn history. If all else fails, at least make sure you are the only one who teaches it. That way you can be reductionist and only tell them what’s “good for them.” A good timeline of Christianity will include all of the most important events: Jesus, the Apostles, and then your local church. Often the best way is to talk about the Apostles, and then jump into the early 1900’s (or 1990’s), thereby ignoring those “dark ages” in between. No one is really sure what happened there anyway. If people do ask, just tell them “Luther” and be sure to maintain he wasn’t a pesky Lutheran, but one of the peeps in your denomination. In fact, if people ever bring up any other historic names, casually inform them those historic people were actually ordained pastors in your church long-long ago. Tertullian, Pelagius, Augustine, Anselm , Aquinas, Knox, Edwards, Wesley, Finney, Spurgeon, Barth are all on the same denominational branch: yours.

5. Reap the rewards

Once you do this, my dear friend, you will have destroyed a church from the inside out, all under the guise of holiness. You see, many churches have long built up walls against the dangers of selfish pleasures and other worldly lusts. Yet, these same churches have a large gap for pride and rigid traditionalism. We can use that gap. You will say many statements and things as fact and as truth for many years. The people will hear and listen, they will learn those things, and believe them as Biblical truth. Then one day they will be exposed to the real truth, they will realize your teachings were not really truth. They will think the church is wrong. And indeed it is, for your job is to teach wrong things as the church. Once they realize you, as “God’s” spokesperson, have been teaching irreconcilable errors, they will falter in their faith. Our hope is that not only will you lose your authority as a “Christian,” but the whole church will lose its authority because of your falsehood’s. People will no longer listen to the Bible, for they will say “Religious people are always wrong.” And indeed, you will have provided them with a long lasting memory, graphically proving that fact. And soon, their young ones will feel lied to and will embrace a bitter disillusionment. Then they will leave. A job well done.
You see, my friend, the easiest way to destroy a church is not to claim its truths are false, for the church people will never listen. Instead, teach that certain falsehoods’ are true. Once you have established that you are wrong on one thing, people will hardly trust you, or the church, on anything else. It’s “Peter: the boy who cried wolf” all over again.

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