Is touching yourself a sin?

Question:

“I have a question, is it a sin for me to masturbate?”

Answer:

Today’s society has a very open attitude towards masturbation, many conservative surveys claim ¾ of males  ½ of females have masturbated (and that is a low number as other surveys report numbers well over 90%.) At the same time most churches treat this with such social stigma as if it does not exist or is so vile and vulgar that it is too profane to discuss. I have only heard this discussed one time in church. My former youth pastor took the guys at my church into a room one day and told us that whoever masturbates has hair on his hands, there was a quick flurry of activity as 40 teen guys started panicking and checking their hands. Within seconds they realized they had been duped and started hiding those hands shamefully into their pockets. This is definitely not a comfortable topic to deal with, yet we must be diligent to answer it thoroughly.

First let me summarize the whole issue and then I can openly and frankly answer each part in detail.

The Bible does not forbid the physical act of masturbation but does prohibit some associated behaviors like illicit sexual fantasy and selfishness.

Is touching yourself sin?

When we ask the question “is touching yourself a sin” we must understand that the Bible talks a lot about sex. The Scripture also has a lot to say about sexual sin. There are large lists of things too provocative and shocking to talk about in church, recorded right on the pages of the Holy Scriptures. (Leviticus 18:6-23, 19:20, Numbers 5:13, Deut 22:22-30 and many more). In the Old testament we see literally every kind of sexual perversion from bestiality to insect being forbidden. It even discusses topics like menstruation in context of human sexuality (Lev 15:19). Yet the Bible is silent on the issue of masturbation. This does not mean its morally permissible, it only means one should not argue that Scripture specifically prohibits the physical act because that would be false.

There are a few references that seem to touch on the issue. The life of Onan in Gen 38:9 is sometimes considered to be relevant (masturbation used to be called “Onanism”) however, the problem in this case lies in Onan neglecting to fulfill his duty in providing his brothers wife with a child. Leviticus 15:16-18 also seems to deal with this topic. It speaks about the uncleanliness associated with a discharge of semen, whether alone as in verse 16 or with a wife in verse 18. Some would say uncleanliness means it is a sin, however, this does not refer to sin but biological uncleanliness; touching dead bodies, bodily fluids, wounds, and sores are all called unclean in the book of Leviticus (as is sexual intimacy between a married couple). Other than these few references the Scriptures are silent as if to suggest God did not deem it an important enough issue to discuss. Due to the fact that masturbation isn’t directly spoken of we need to look at general bible principles to guide us to a proper answer.

Sexual fantasy and Lust

Often masturbation can be like a drug dealer, he isn’t doing causing physical harm himself but he enables others to do destroy themselves. Here is how some people will want to respond to the Biblical silence on masturbation: “since the Bible doesn’t mention it, let’s go download porn and masturbate.” This is where the largest problem with masturbation lies, its normative association with illicit lust and sexual fantasy. While the Bible does not condemn masturbation directly, it denounces most behaviors that are related to it. Jesus never mentioned masturbation but He was very clear on sexual fantasies. Matthew 5:28 is direct in saying that looking with lustful intent is already adultery (adultery is sex with someone else’s wife, so this refers to a woman who is not yours but is or will be another man’s). Whatever form this fantasy takes place, all of it is sin. If you are lusting after a person you know, it is demeaning to them and ruins your mind. You are defiling a daughter or son of God in your mind as you masturbate. If I found out today that someone was lusting after my wife it would make me sick to my stomach, and severely angry. Realize whoever you lust after is either married or will be married, and you can’t fill your mind with sexual fantasies involving that person.

Porn is another huge issue. Statistics reveal that most masturbation takes place with the assistance of porn. All the same principles as above apply. In addition, using porn causes you to train yourself to become sexually stimulated only to a certain type of imagery. This is not the way our brains were created, we were created to become aroused by a “real person” while in an intimate relationship with our spouse.  Porn causes a “reprogramming” of one’s brain, causing the sex drive to be tied to 2 dimensional images of what is shown in porn. This causes people to have strong urges to live out their porn fantasies with anyone they can find.  The sexual expectations created by porn are nonrealistic and cause spouses to be unable to satisfy each other in marital intimacy. Porn has a horrible effect on the minds of all people alike and is devastating for marriages (present and future). And on top of all that, it is sin.

Masturbating with porn and/or other illicit sexual fantasies is clearly sin and damages you and the relationship with your future/current spouse. Ask yourself, is it even possible to do one (masturbate) without the other (porn/illicit fantasy)? In most cases we must agree the answer is no and masturbation becomes guilty by way of association.

The Biblical standard for sex?

There are specific reasons for human sexuality as the Bible teaches. The most obvious is to create children. Second, sex is essential to the process by which a husband and his wife become one flesh, and it is also the symbol of their union in Gen 2:24. And third, marriage/sex serve is shown as a representation or symbol of the union between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:31,32).  Our culture has it wrong, we live in an “all about me” world. Marriage and sex are not intended to be all about you, instead they function to serve us with a model of a mutually pleasing relationship. Masturbation is not in line with that. A husband and wife with a biblical view of sex please each other; someone who masturbates by him/herself is fulfilling a selfish desire. Now it could be said we have many selfish desires such as hunger, thirst, and etc, but the issue is that masturbation not only ‘fulfills’ but ‘trains’ a person to live and view sexuality in a very contradictory way to how Scripture defined it. This selfish view of sex is going to be an obstacle and cause people to be unable to enjoy gift of sex on a higher level - in a mutually-pleasing marriage.

An emotional cause?

For some masturbation can become a self-soothing behavior. It can become a way of dealing with pressures or stress that comes from our human need for comfort, security, and reassurance. It can exhibit itself in people with low self esteem and be used as a cure for the problems surrounding them, such as parents who fight, being bullied at school, feeling unloved or unwanted by others.  This underlying need should be met with a more legitimate method like spending time with your friends, and sharing life together with other Christians in an encouraging community. Sometimes masturbation can be a symptom of depression, or a lack of joy and purpose. Those feelings won’t be treated by sexual release, instead they will be worsened by the selfishness and guilt of masturbation and pornography. They require a more permanent healing, which only happens when you replace sex as your source of satisfaction with real joy and community.

Final remarks:

The Bible never condemns anyone for masturbating. That said, it does not encourage it.

There are many behaviors that may be harmful to you and others which exhibit themselves as accomplices with masturbation.

Masturbation does not seem to be part of the picture of what’s normal for biblical sexuality.